Why I am so ‘cheap’

My step-mom made a joke about it last week, how cheap I am, I don’t remember how it went, I was initially bothered by it, but not for long, I am proud of being ‘frugal’.

My sister told me on Sunday that I’m ‘tighter than the skin on a hot dog’ to which I replied “And that is why I am in the position I am in, and you guys aren’t”. which she laughed about. I am in a better place financially than the rest of my family, but that doesn’t mean I can (or want to) blow my money.

I don’t want to have my son grow up how I did. Getting evicted and having to move all the time. Living in some bad areas. Living in a camper in my relative’s driveway. Sleeping on the kitchen floor because the oven was the only heat we had some cold nights. No savings for college, having to foot the whole bill myself.

Long story short in short(ish): My mom can’t work, she has RA, which makes her unable to keep a consistent schedule not knowing when what part of her body will be in too much pain for being crippled each week, she wasn’t able to keep a steady job because of this. She had 2 crappy disability lawyers and ended up being denied TWICE for her condition for horrible reasons (especially when I see people who do get disability and do all kinds of running around and heavy lifting) So she won’t be able to get that, but she was recently diagnosed with COPD, so she should be able to get disability with that (just no back pay). Her husband (my step dad) is an alcoholic. I mean, pints of whiskey everyday. EVERY. DAY. plus whatever else he can get his hands on. He doesn’t make much, and they are bad with money. They buy stuff instead of paying their bills with the money they DO have.

So who helps them pay the bills when they have shutoff notices? That’s right. You just won $100 if you guessed me! (Just kidding about the $100, haven’t you been reading along? I’m cheap, no money for you!)

Well, after a great Thanksgiving celebration at my house Sunday (I cooked everything) and everyone having a great time, my A*hole step dad ruined it for everyone, made so many people cry on drunk rampage. 3 days later, and both of my sisters have been staying at my house since, and now it look like my mom is leaving him over it, which is great for her emotionally (maybe?).

Except she has no income. So… who is going to be helping support her financially? You probably guessed it again.

Note: I am fine with supporting her to get out of that relationship. But I’m horrified because I don’t know what things will look like going forward. My sister can’t support herself, she is still living with my mom and working part time and spending money on all kinds of luxuries she wants, and thinks that she deserves to because of all she lost in her divorce. And with my company going through free cash flow issues and going through a major organizational restructure, I wasn’t worried about my job, but maybe I should be.

So yes, I am tight. Probably more than I should be. But I am tight because I HAVE to be.


I just want to go home and cry… but I can’t. My sisters are still staying there. And I have an adorable toddler to take care of.


3 thoughts on “Why I am so ‘cheap’

  1. myjourneycreatinglife November 20, 2018 / 9:49 pm

    Wow that’s rough; completely unfair for you to be supporting all these people financially. Wondering if you have researched some boundary setting type stuff. I know it can be super difficult to say no to people but it can set healthy expectations for the future and take some of that stress off of you in the long term. I know this may not be for you I find it great to limit enabling family and friends in my own life. Wishing you lots of strength to get through this. ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  2. RJ November 21, 2018 / 3:49 pm

    Wow what a rough holiday. I’m so sorry you’re experiencing this. It’s so hard when people are unable to manage their own affairs and lean on their family for help. Wishing you strength as you and your family goes through this rough time and I hope things get better soon.

    Liked by 1 person

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